→ Sacred Oath
For those who have known me for decades know that I have taken the commitment of helping mankind to progress.
Since my nervous breakdown in university back in the 1990s that I have been taking life-time medicines to stay stable.
Life has been an adventure, from severe depression crises to moments of high happiness.
Without the nervous breakdown I would never have met Professor Carvalho Rodrigues. I don't believe much in destiny but maybe this was meant to be?
I have accomplished feats that I never thought possible, from being the first civilian to finish the "Information Warfare" military masters with honour, to an ongoing research PhD whose project took me around 5 years to develop from scratch.
Some people often described me as being a mix of a genius and a madman.
It has been quite a journey… but life leads nowhere, I could take all the courses in the world but I will never fit into society. I will never be able to have a regular life and I will always work in part-time. Like I once said: "Work is a necessary evil" and I just have a job because I need money.
Like my friend Stephen told me on 28.Aug.2016: we must think of work as a place to get money at the end of the month. One goes to work, does his job the best he can, goes home and the day starts! After work, it is the time to live and create professional things.
My parents often say that I am a useless and lazy person who only thinks about sleeping, eating and computing.
I do what I do but the projects are my everything and decades ago I began using my free time and even pay from my own pocket to get the projects going. I am a computer geek and I don't care about politics nor war.
In one of my depressive crises around mid-2017 I had to take an important decision: to live or die. I told to some close friends that on that Friday I would decide.
After a whole day in my bedroom meditating about such decision, I reached three conclusions:
1) If I was gone, no one more capable would be able to replace me in the projects;
2) It is risky to replace the known with the unknown;
3) My friends would suffer a lot since they care about me.
So, the projects are still ongoing and I took the correct decision.
My late (2005) cousin Ed Sant'Ana who was a composer, guitar player, singer and producer, believed in and said that: "Music has various forms but only one touches us, the one that comes from the soul with the purpose to cure suffering, loneliness and sadness. That gift is given only to certain persons who have the compromise to spread it as prophets messengers of Peace and Love… and so, it also happens with the one who isn't a musician but who has the gift to pacify, spread tranquillity, love and truth".
This "Sacred Oath" taken decades ago is that as long as I live, no one knows the day of tomorrow, I will help mankind to progress. This is all that matters.
Last update: 21.Feb.2018